"your positivity pisses me off"-- my journey with positivity & 5 ways to cultivate it

I will always remember those messages I received. Explaining how I was inauthentic and shallow. Apparently it was super annoying that I was “overly optimistic” about life. But that one sentence, “Your positivity pisses me off”... yeah, that one stung.I am, generally, optimistic. I believe that things will always work out, one way or another. I see the best in people. I seem to find the good in most situations. So I pretty much live in the silver linings. That’s just who I am. Sorry not sorry. Usually haters can’t kill my vibe that easily but I was not on my positivity A game when all this happened.&& that’s why I felt the need to share how a positive mindset can help you survive and thrive to, seriously, live your best life.It was the end of 2016 and I was just adjusting back to normal life after a pretty traumatic experience overseas. I stopped blogging — I felt directionless. I was back at home, exactly where I was NOT supposed to be. I tried to figure out how to keep my dream of traveling and writing alive, even though it felt like every sliver of hope and opportunity had shattered. Accepting life’s truth was not an easy pill to swallow. I started searching for online communities that aimed to empower one another & lift each other up. I needed a community like that desperately. Although I had a amazing support system at home, and the people surrounding me gave me more love than I could ever have hoped for, I needed an unbiased community that could help lift me up without feeling sorry about the current state of my life situation. You know what i mean?I finally found a group of people that really inspired me to start believing in myself again. There was an incredible amount of positivity that flowed in that space and it was contagious AF. Their dreams of lifestyle design and entrepreneurship ran parallel to mine.We shared allllll kinds of inspirational media (particularly on Facebook). Videos. Quotes. Memes. Articles, you get it.. it sounds silly, but it’s exactly what I needed in order to reignite my fire. I started having dreams and goals again. It was a CONSTANT FLOW of positivity.I felt like I had some sort of purpose again. We would engage in conversations about the future and how we wanted to design our own life.  It felt good to do the day to day again. I felt comfortable letting my positivity shine on again. I FINALLY felt like I could inspire and help others once more.I began to start my entrepreneurial journey with an incredible support system of this online community of people. Although we ventured in different directions and live all over the world, the impact of their positivity and support was astounding and life changing.Now that you have some of that back story, we can get back to the point of the blog, where my positivity pissed someone off...So there I was on social media putting it all out there. I was trying to figure out who I wanted to be both online and off-line. I was trying to figure out what kind of business I wanted to develop, while trying to understand why so many people didn’t share my passion and belief on entrepreneurship. I decided to put it all out there, to inspire, as well as to get as much support on this journey as possible. Everything was on fast forward and felt pretty out of control, however there was one thing I ALWAYS had control over, and that was my attitude and my positivity.Everything I shared had a positive spin on it. No matter the topic, I found a way to find the positivity and bring it to the forefront of my conversation.Here’s a few examples...Scenario 1:  for a post about entrepreneurship I would focus on how harnessing ones passion and actively showing up for your (fill in the blank), anything can be successful.. instead of saying, “this shit is hard, makes me cry and makes me want to give up sometimes, but hey, I think it’s gonna be worth it one day.”Scenario 2: for a post about a “life update”,  I would say something along the lines of, “the universe doesn’t give you things you can’t handle,” or “there are mountains in your path so you can show others they can be moved”. Yes they were cliché and corny sayings,  but they still provided an amount of comfort and a sense of hope that I could actually survive what I was going through. Because most the time, I felt like giving up.I wanted to come up with a scenario three, but at this point my life, I was only focused on the entrepreneurial hustle and surviving the day to day. So that’s all I talked about. Then out of nowhere, I received that message. “ your positivity pisses me off… ”. Accompanied with several other snap judgments based off of my social media posts. In an instant all the positivity and believe I had built up came crumbling down.Was I inauthentic for hoping for the best? Was it wrong to look on the bright side? Did people need to see my heartbreak and failures everyday to know I was experiencing it? Did everyone else think I was fake too for not putting the “nitty gritty” out in the open all day everyday?   I mean, I didn’t even know what I was doing online or who I wanted to be. So this message pretty much defeated me and my positivity.I downward spiraled once more. I didn’t know what to do with my innate positivity. It was a part of who I was. I forgot how to use it. Then I reignited it. Once I was in the positive flow, I felt like myself again. And now, I was being told I was a joke. Cool.It took me a few days to recover. I really had to let this sink in. I was not about to go down the deep dark depression hole I had just climbed out of, but I also didn’t want to come across as naive and aloof. Where was my middle ground? And did I want to play there? the next move was all up to me, and it would define how I would carry on with both my personal and entrepreneurial journey.I decided honest and genuine positivity felt good and aligned more with my true self rather than trying to adjust myself to fit the naysayers point of view. I ultimately replied with the most honest answer I had, “positivity is all I have right now.” And it was. I thanked her for her opinion and said I would continue down the path I was on, because, it felt right for me. I was sorry she couldn’t align with my viewpoint, but I wasn’t there to push my positivity on anyone, just to share my experience the way I experienced it, not the way I was expected to.After that response, giiiirl, did I feel empowered. I decided to embrace my positivity no matter how many people it pissed off. && I have tried my absolute best to continue to radiate positivity as much , and as often as I can, ever since I pressed send on that response.Now I’m definitely not saying my life is all sunshine and rainbows. I have my off moments, off days days and even off weeks. Life CAN NOT BE ALL HAPPINESS. Duh. However, we don’t need to play the victim the entire way through. Bad shit happens. And I know it’s easier to sit in that misery and be annoyed or whatever, BUT it’s pretty damn empowering when you go through something, and find a positive outcome over the easily spotted negative.With a world broadcasting the negative every chance it gets, why not be the hope for someone else, if not for yourself. Smile at strangers, say nice things just cuz, share your inspirations, encourage others, and above all, practice being positive. I know. It sounds weird, but the more you do little things like this, 1. It becomes second nature,  2. You actually start to feel the positivity seeping into you (&& it feels amaze) and 3. People will probably want to be around you more, because you are making them happy and you feel like sunshine.I rely on my positivity as a source for strength and a reminder of who I am, and who I always want to be. On days when I’m feeling down, I try and surround myself with as much positive energy as I can. Even if I have to create it myself.Here’s a few ways I have learned how to cultivate positivity.1. SmileI know it sounds silly that something as small as a smile could cultivate some pretty instant positivity... but hear me out.“The act of smiling activates neural messaging that benefits your overall happiness and health. It not only emits the feel-good neurotransmitters , such as, dopamine, endorphins and serotonin, but it also activating your orbitofrontal cortex, the region in your brain that process sensory rewards.”Basically, when you smile, you’re throwing a feel good party your brain.You don’t have to wake up smiling, or force a smile when you’re actually frustrated AF. Feel your real feels. However, don’t go a day without smiling, at least once. If you have to look in the mirror and make yourself laugh or hype yourself up until it happens, do it.For more information on the effects of smiling.. check out this source .[embed]https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/201206/there-s-magic-in-your-smile%3famp[/embed]2. LaughYou know that quote, "laughter is the best medicine"..? Well, whoever said that was right. Just like when you smile, laughing causes chemical reactions throughout your body cultivating natural and genuine positivity. Laughter triggers a release of endorphins throughout the body, "decreases stress hormones and increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies" , relieves anger, stress and is known to even burn a few calories (if you laugh hard enough).Laughter not only has positive physical benefits, but it also has positive mental and social benefits; such as, relieving anxiety or promotes social bonding between individuals or within a group.When i need a good laugh, I surround myself with friends and family that have a light energy about the, or I'll watch a funny show/movie to get the giggles going.To read more about laughter, check out this source.3. Get inspiredPeople work better when they are motivated and inspired. There are countless ways one can be motivated/inspired , and its extremely specific to the individual. So find what fuels your fire, and makes you feel alive. Whether that’s with books, music, Pinterest, etc... find it, and use it. Without motivatoin and inspiration, positivity can not thrive.Personally, I love collecting quotes that speak to me. It sounds silly, however, I rely on those little images to reinstate my positivity (in any aspect of my life) and shift my mindset from a pessimistic one to an optimistic one. Music also puts me in a good mood. Sometimes when I'm feeling off, I'll turn on some jams and sing and dance until I'm felling good again.4. Do something that you enjoy doing (go outside, get crafty...)Another way to cultivate positivity is by doing things you enjoy. Often times, we forget to take care of ourselves in the most basic of ways. Everyone needs a break from the everyday grind and annoyances; so taking a day to RELAX and " doing you" can do wonders on your positive mental attitude.Some may enjoy a nature walk, or hike, other may enjoy a day by the pool or a beach day. Those insignificant activities can cultivate a lot of positive energy around your life. If outdoor activities aren't your thing, get creative! Creating something on your own, wether its a art piece or your favorite meal, doing something you enjoy always creates a positive environment.5. Be around other positive people (if you don’t know any, time to find some!)This one is pretty self explanatory. Be around people who make you feel good! There is no positive outcome in surrounding yourself around negative energy and people. It is emotionally and mentally taxing, and can attribute to mental health issues, such as anxiety and depression. SOOOOO, if you don't have anyone if your life who feels like sunshine, or makes you laugh, feel good about yourself or makes you genuinely happy...time to go find your vibe tribe.Now this list doesn’t guarantee ultimate and instant positivity, that is on you, to do the work and believe in the power of positivity , But I promise, once you start, you'll never want to stop!Shoutout to those people who have reminded me how powerful positivity is!  Love you alll!  Ever since, I have held onto that positivity, belief in myself and have developed a strong sense to share the good vibes while moving forward in my journey. && for that, I am forever grateful.Much love,C