Goodbye 25, Hello 26. My musings of this past year...

This time last year, I swore up and down I had just had THE MOST transformational year of my life...Well, this year gave last year a run for it's money. Although I was not galavanting around the world as I please, like my 24th year on this planet, I'd like to say I became very humbled, learned more than I could have imagined and have transformed as a human being, yet again.At the beginning of year 25, I was still lost. I was scared for the future. I wanted to run away. I couldn't stand the thought of being alone.I still wanted to write. I wanted to blog more, but my fire was extinguished, creativity drained and I could't bear to finish my travel blog without spiraling into a deep depression. I turned to the internet, and online communities, that weirdly felt like home.I stared meeting people from all over the world who had felt the same way as me. They had felt stuck, or depressed about life. They wanted to travel, wanted to find meaning, some just wanted to inspire others to push through another day, I mean you name it, and there is a community out there for it...hahah.After talking and connecting with a few of these communities, my fire was sparked. And "just like that", my sad world turned its frown upside down.I put my positive pants on and I started to research self-help. I wanted to "fix myself". I did not want to be sad or feel this way anymore. That led me to meditation, getting back into yoga and consciously recognizing what truly made me happy. I took action. I practiced mindfulness as much as I could, as well as yoga. I read books, I talked to "experts", all was going well, but something was still off.Then, I began going to therapy. And seriously, that changed my life. Although I was taking personal action to help myself, it was not enough. I needed a team to help me out of this one. It was hard to start up, (since I am not one to openly talk about my deep dark feelings) but, I am happy to say, that I have been consistently attending sessions and making breakthroughs for about a year now! wooo, go me!Once I was able to finally calm my mind, and feel more like Christina again (which took a few months to do), that's when the real fun started to begin!I realized I could do ANYTHING I wanted to do. I wasn't scared for the future. I still wanted travel, but not run away. I did not feel lost, rather, I felt grounded. And most of all, I understood the importance in being along and enjoying your own company.I constantly had this "big idea" (<-- check it out if you do not know what I am talking about....) that shaped the way I wanted to live my life. I took a job that would support my future career goals and started up my journey.I started to open my mind to all of the possibilities. I tried out lots of new things! Some worked.Some failed.  I got overwhelmed by the infiniteness, but I hear that's completely normal when one is diving into an unknown world of awesome.I started up a blog, called Grow with the Flow. It stemmed from an idea that we  "grow through what we go through", a way of living that I try to live my life by. It's taken turns and twists along the way, and honestly, I am just now starting to really understand what it is that I REAAALLLY want to do with it. hahaha. I feel like a broken record at this point haha but I honestly feel it in my gut that I have it right this time...Time will tell, which is awesome because I have plenty of it! haha. So here I am, on my last day of being 25... sitting in my living room, feeling pretty sure of myself, excited for the future, comfortable with being alone and ready for 26 to bring it on.I have no idea what this year has in store for me... but I am excited to find out :) happy birthday to me!    xx, C