My Social Media Hiatus && WHY it is important to take time off social media every once and a while.

&&&& I’m back! If you follow me on Instagram then you’ll know I took a social media break, but don’t worry, I resurfaced hah. In short, it was amazing, obviously, or I wouldn’t be writing a blog post about the whole shebang.I am a pretty go-go-go person. I love being out and about, going to events, meeting new people and exploring new places. I keep my schedule preeeetty busy and sleep….. what is that? I don't really slow down, unless my body absolutely makes me. Sooooo when I got this last warning sign, I knew I needed to actually change something or I didn’t know what was going to happen…I woke up like any normal day, with quite the agenda ahead of me. I had a breakfast date, then an event, then I was going to go to the pool with a friend, then catch up on social media campaigns, organize some events…I was busy AF, need I go on?Anyways, I got in the shower. And just like that, everything was spinning, my ears pierced with a numbing ring and then, darkness. I struggled out of the shower, wrapped a towel around myself and zig zagged to my bed. It went on like this for about 3 hours or so. It was terrifying. I had NO CLUE what was going on. Obviously, this was not good. Contrary to my usual good judgment,  I waited until I was clear headed again (for a while) and went to support a good friend at her huge event. I showed up and instantly knew I had made  a mistake. The spins immediately began again. I was barely able to get words out and I was profusely sweating. It was again, terrifying. I left the event and made my way home. I knew I needed to slow it down. I walked up to my front door, sat on the couch and fell asleep for the next 17 hours.Clearly, my body needed the rest. it NEEDED to recharge. So it did, whether I liked it or not. The next morning, Sunday, I had an event for work. I had an entire bazaar I had to set up, as well as oversee AAAAAND direct the 15 vendors that were coming onsite. I could not slow down. Not that day. I worked for 12+ hours —  I guess you can blame my  outrageous work ethic…so bittersweet.The following day I took a half day at work and went home to sleep off the exhaustion. When I woke up, I KNEW something needed to change, like immediately. Since I had to continue showing up to work and paying my bills, I was forced cut out ANYTHING extra in my life besides the “essentials”. I decided I was going to stop the following: attending events + networking, meeting friends for happy hours and after work activities, dating, and last but not least, all social media activity.So I made up my mind, and I stuck to it. I didn’t set a timeline on when this whole hiatus was going end, and I had no intentions of outlining what i wanted to get out of it, or sharing my steps along the way. I just lived life and gave ALLLL the time to myself. I went to bed early, caught up on shows and started reading again. I was inspired to take photos and captured things that inspired me (like I used to back in the day). I went to the San Diego County Fair. I went to the pool and went to the beach. I caught up with friends, worked out and kinda felt like I got my groove back. Oh, and I had to move houses as well…Saying NO is still a boundary I am strengthening and this hiatus was like a “saying no” boot camp. I was put to the test almost every day from every aspect of life. There were so many events and commitments I had to say no to. However, there was one event that I went to. My friend Brooke, from Elevate Collaborative, hosted a Self Care event in Encinitas that just felt right. I met some incredible women who inspired me to look at things from a different perspective. Some of these women became IRL friends, woooooh, which is even more of a plus! At the event we made tea tubs, with essential oils and dried florals. The night was an absolute pleasure && showed me that I can still do the things I love, and enjoy them EVEN MORE when I allow myself time to recover and to simply live, without any pressure or expectations of showing up, both online & offline every single day.I think social media has a wild way of putting a whole bunch of pressure and unspoken expectations on us without us even realizing what is happening. It's like some weird expectation to show up, be perfect and to entertain takes over our day to day, and if we don't "preform" we loose value or even worse, we are forgotten.  Once I allowed myself to step back from the online world for a bit, I literally felt the stress and unsurmountable pressure to be accepted, understood and inspiring melt away.  After a few weeks of being off social media, my head stopped buzzing with "all the things I had to do". I suddenly felt like I could manage life, rather than drowning in a never ending cycle of who knows what. (Whenever I am suuper overwhelmed I realize I can't even pinpoint what is stressing me out, my brain just feels "too full" if that makes sense),  We are not designed for constant notifications, endless channels, various apps, texts, emails, and not to mention a 40 hour work week with 5-6 social events lined up. I knew if I wanted to come back to social media at any point in time, I was going to have to reevaluate my relationship with it or I would continue this downward spiral as soon as I "got better".There is A LOT wrong with social media, and I don't need to list all the toxicity it can foster, because we all already know. And even with all the negativity it can produce, there is good that can come from it.  Before I was able to see all the good social media can do, I had to rid the mass toxicity that was jading my feed. I began to unfollow accounts that no longer served me. It took some time, but with some patience and real talk with myself I was able to clean up my digital surroundings and recreate an authentic space of what inspires me on a daily basis. Once I did that, along with taking a break of forcibly showing up day in and day out, I was able to see just how POWERFUL social media can be. Especially,  when it is used to talk about important topics such as:  mental health, body positivity, equality,  and the environment. From that, communities are created. Support is offered. Thoughts are given voices. Movements are created. Knowledge is spread and people are connected. That is exactly WHY I decided to stay on social media. I want to help people feel less alone. I want to give a voice to those who's feelings are left unspoken.  I want to put a face to controversial topics others wont talk about. I want to inspire others to be the author of their own story. I want to empower others to take risks and instill faith, that dreams are always worth the chase.Now I know I can't go changing the world through social media, but hey, it's a start, right? And if by sharing my story of growing through what I go through can help someone out, I'M HERE FOR IT. In order for me to do remain sane, happy and fulfilled, I needed to take these lessons learned from my little break and put them into ACTION, like always and forever, not just for the month or for the rest of the year. So what am I going to do moving forward from this break? Glad you asked... (even if you didn't haha). I made a promise to myself to scale it back, take it slow and be intentional. So what does "scaling it back" look like? That means saying YES to taking care of myself before others, while saying NO to a whole lot of invitations. I will not and can not continue to try to go to everything I am invited to. The old me would bend over backwards to attend every event and support every human. I now know that will lead to a mental and physical breakdown which is sooooo not on my agenda. When I say yes to something, I want it to mean something. So I am bringing value back to my "yeses" and I am very excited about it! I am also staying OFF social media when I am "bored". There are SO MANY other things that bring me JOY like reading, creating, working out, spending time with friends and family, or taking it outdoors and enjoying sunny San Diego. How will I "take it slow...?" well,  for starters I have put a time limit on my phone (like all the apps except  my insight timer and spotify are disabled) to set boundaries in the morning and evening, so you won't find me scrolling to start and end my days. Last but certainly not least,  being intentional. I am  only posting when I feel inspired to. I used to get so down on myself if I went three, four even five days being "inactive" on social media. Irrational fears started to creep in and the comparison game was strong. But when I forced my creativity and succumbed to these fears, everything produced felt inauthentic and rushed. When I became intentional with how I showed up on social media, things began to make sense and I was able to nourish and grow my creative side once again.It's been about two months that I have "been back" and to say I have been "healed" would be an outright lie. It is unbelievable how technology is so ingrained in our life . We rely on it to make the world run, to validate ourselves, and we have been doing so for quite some time. Those habits will take longer than a month to break. This break wasn't life changing. It shed some light on things I was unwilling to look and a things I was completely unaware of. It renewed my sense of creativity and has redefined the way I show up on social media . I have remained intentional and it has made quite a difference in both my creativity and personal psyche. I feel like I am able to show up as myself again instead of this pretty picture  I was trying to paint and small box I was trying to fit into.   At times, I still compare myself to others, but I am more often inspired by them rather than being spiteful towards myself.  I sometimes worry if people are judging me and what I put out there...are enough people "liking me?"... does my audience even care?... Am I doing this for nothing?... You know, typical self- limiting beliefs and doubtful, fear-based self talk. However, this is not my everyday, as it used to be. They are now fleeting moments, I am 100% capable of shutting down with some rational self talk and a step back. I no longer feel controlled by social media or the need to constantly be online and readily available for, well, everyone. It has somehow given me a piece of my life back, I didn't realize was missing. And for that, I am forever grateful. In short, I took a break from social media. It ended up turning into a much needed revamp of the way I spend my time and how I creatively show up. I set up boundaries, and put myself first for once. I was reminded that I am human, and I will never be "perfect at this". Life is a constant journey of growing thorough what we go through. I realized I like saying "No" more (which is very exciting for me haha). I am learning to spend more time alone and relaxing now. I will most definitely take more breaks from social media and the busy lifestyle I lead.  And of course, I am FOREVER grateful for those who support what I do, it means the world and is the reason I keep it up :) xoxo , C